Valentine’s Day is one heck of an emotional pot-stirrer, don’t you think? It’s the time of year when men absolutely must be accurate mind readers, when children absolutely must recognize their mother’s love, and when boy friends absolutely must be at their best performance.
Please consider other opportunities that come under the guise of Valentine’s Day:
- If you have a set-in-stone mind model about what a successful and acceptable Valentine’s Day celebration and gift absolutely has to be, think about women everywhere who have different ideas from yours. Why is only one idea acceptable?
- Have your expectations been fully communicated long before Valentine’s Day, or are you clutching them in silence to your heart hoping, praying, and wishing that this year he gets it right?
- Do you notice where the responsibility for your satisfaction is placed? If it’s on another, disappointment will creep in. That’s a guarantee.
There is one relationship that you’re in that could help stave off disappointment this year and that relationship is the one you have with yourself. It’s the one where you tell yourself how you want your Valentine’s Day present wrapped, what needs to be in the box, and how you expect it to be delivered.
I can feel you thinking “Yes, but, he should know by now!” Frankly, without input from you, how could he possibly figure it out? If you act out of your self-relationship, you can think of many practical ways to teach him without leading him by the nose.
- “I love surprises.”
- “I love jewelry.”
- “I love romantic dinners.”
- “I love weekends away.”
- “I love to see the thought you put into this.”
Those hints are practical, allow him to know more closely what pleases you, and gives some of the responsibility to you. I’m not a man, but if I were, this would be a huge load off my mind. Those types of ideas give him a starting place to begin to use his own creativity.
Then, there’s gratitude. If you suspect very little thought was put into play, it’s hard to act excited or satisfied. But if you love him, you can certainly show appreciation and applaud the good attempts. There ARE men who’re good at this, and many are not.
What if it’s a total flop?
Your Valentine’s Day celebration should be a celebration of the love between you and your special guy, and not a comparison contest between girlfriends. Can you possibly not tell them? Hummm.
If you have developed the habit of criticism for all the ways he did it wrong, that critical spirit is coming from you. You could turn it by developing an inventory of all the ways he did it right. The more acknowledgement you give for the right way, the more it will increase over the years.
Find other ways to show your love this week. Volunteer at a homeless shelter. Write notes to those in your family and tell them how you love them. Read to dogs at a shelter. Plan to cook a meal together with those you love. Do a mitzvah for a senior.
Check out your expectations. Too high? Too low? Permanent and changeless? Please remember that none of us here in this earth experience is flawless. Humans all make mistakes.
Stay off Social Media that day to avoid making comparisons. Remember this: what you see in another’s picture is just a skinny slice of their life. There’s a lot more to every story that deserves consideration.
Making Sure You Feel Loved on Valentine’s Day
Do loving things for others and be grateful for whatever you get. Some guys really struggle with gift giving. It’s just not in their genes. Have compassion for this.
Gather those you love around you on Valentine’s Day and bask in the warmth of your family and friend’s love.
Plan a date WITH your mate. I can hear his sigh of relief and then yours.
Let your mate know you don’t need skyrockets and diamonds. (Well, maybe diamonds. 🙂 All you want is that he do something thoughtful to celebrate your love. It doesn’t have to be ginormous.
Decide in advance you will look for ways to feel satisfied. He might be lame at this piece of his life, and if you know he does love you, what does it cost him to perform in a more special way?
If you don’t hear it from anyone else, Happy Valentine’s Day from me. I love you.
Pat Matson’s path of life’s unfoldment has led her into the world of copywriting where she lends her expertise to the writing of blogs, ezines, curriculum and articles with a common sense message for entrepreneurs, especially life coaches or spiritual coaches. Pat loves to bring the story inside her clients representing their businesses out into the world that needs it so. In addition to her copywriting, Pat is a Walter Method Teacher of metaphysics where she helps illuminate Life’s Laws for her students. Pat’s Write Mind is her home base.