These are questions that I get on a regular basis from friends, family and our Kalon Women across the world. They all have to do with “self-discovery,” which seems to be a hot topic of discussion these days within the world of boomer women.
Personal growth is most often a slow and gradual process, and it can be difficult to recognize the magnitude of the changes taking place in our lives when we are too close to it. It is so important that we regularly acknowledge our ongoing growth and reward ourselves for the many wonderful steps of self-improvement we have accomplished. When we take a hard look at our own progress, we need never feel that we are wavering between past achievements and the realization of future goals.
If we look closely at our lives, we may see that much of what brings us pleasure in the present is representative of the ambitions of our past that we worked so hard to attain. At one time, the abundance we enjoy currently likely seemed like a far-off dream. Now it is simply reality—a reality we created through our diligence, passion, and unflagging determination. Whether our progress is fast or slow, we deserve to congratulate ourselves for our successes.
To remind me of the insights I have gained with time, I need to temporarily adopt an outsider’s perspective and carefully consider how my life in the present differs from the sequence of experiences I’ve lived through in the past. My friends often tell me, “Sandra, look at what you have accomplished in just two years.”
With that in mind, I created a written list, of those strengths, aptitudes, and inner qualities I now attribute to myself, and it helps me understand that I am not the same person I was one year ago, five years ago, or 10 years ago. My attitudes, opinions, and values were markedly different, and these differences can be attributed to my willingness to accept that I still have much to learn. I used to have difficulty giving myself credit for these changes, but then I think about the goals I have realized, the lives I have touched, the wisdom I have acquired, and the level of enlightenment I attained over the past years.
Recognizing that my own growth is neither boastful nor immodest was very hard for me because I came from the old school of “we” as most women have done in their family life as well as in their careers. It is a natural fact of life and becomes a powerful motivational force when we celebrate our own growth. Knowing that I am brighter, stronger, and more grounded than I once was I can look forward to the changes to come. In acknowledging my own growth, I can build a sturdy foundation upon which I can continue to blossom well into the future.
What is it about us, as women that keep us from using the “I” pronoun more often?